I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize