dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize