i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
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While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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