so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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