i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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