And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
