Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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