we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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