we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize