oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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