oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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