i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
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I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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