Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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