I wish my penis had an off switch
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Shame is for Republicans.
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