Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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