dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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