for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize