apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize