I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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