Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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