I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
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