I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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