Having a random hookup so left but love u
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize