but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
