we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
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It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
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I deserve to be covered in dicks
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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