margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
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I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
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i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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