I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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