I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you inspire me to be a worse person
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize