i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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