somebody snuck up and got me drunk
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
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bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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