Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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