is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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