Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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