i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want to make out with him forever
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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