Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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