i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Fuck appropriateness.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
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Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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