I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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