I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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