I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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