I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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