Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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