Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize