Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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