Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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