Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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