I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize