I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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