Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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