weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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