Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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