I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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