I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
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There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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