Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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