i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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