All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
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I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize